I had not walked far

I had only stepped lightly unto the sphere of the earth and soon the forest pulled my flesh to the site of meditation. Pictures where formed of how firewood where gathered and so forth. As cars went by on the road, the rush and bustle of their engines and the hurl of the winds as they sped by upset the mind as it found these things too disturbing. The legs moved quite on account of this somewhat forcefull rush to get out of such a situation. Slowly yet at some point i came upon that site of meditation, where in ages past rugged people had lived rugged lives in hollows atop the earth. So slowly and silently things came slower and more silent. The fire was lighted upon its proper hollow and food was digested.

Then came the earth healer and some communion took place. He was told about the big picture and how it could be wieved differently: Not so we need answers, but so that we make the answer and see it and so it will be there. And then he was asked if he was ready, because a summoning was taking place. Patterns traded places within me. The ground started creaking. The earth healer left. Then there was footsteps outside and other activity. Someone was playing or in likewise fashion moving around outside of the earth hollow. There was 62 distinct voices, most died in the 20th century, most quite young, maybe 40 years of age in average. Some of them did not even speak in tounges i could understand, only clicking sounds. Some did not even now much of our perception of three dimensional. Many of them had lived and died in Sweden, so most had passed quite near in time and space. At a few occations i spoke out loud, at other occations i just kept listening.

From what i learned of it all, there is a something that needs to take place at next full moon, so around 4th of May. It would seem i am to channel and old powerfull spirit called something like "Tenegra" or possibly "Anubis" as in the old egyptian entity. It could take a long time and there could be a lot of drumming and dancing.

Fear

Come smash me apart

Let me boil and burn to ash, let me be spread across your infinte landscape

Let me travel this landscape of your body over and over again

Frozen wastes and death wailing in my ears

I fear not

I die every second in your eyes

You turn me to smoldering ash

So i fear no pain, fear no toils and no evils

I fear you

Crush my bones, tare the flesh from my body

This is all the princes of the earth can do to me

And i fear it not

But you

Oh i tremble at even the slightest mention of your name

I melt and die at your touch

Im put together again

And i long for your proximity

I long to die in the depths of your eyes

To be torn form your lips is to have my arms hacked off with a dull axe

To see you over there is having my chest caved in by a falling tree

Letting go of you in the morning is like being cast into an open fire

Knowing you might start disliking me is to be crucified and dismembered

But i wont lie, i wont do anything in order to seem that or this way

For you deserve my honesty

Cannot compare you to anything or anyone

Have never known anyone like you

You are that immense brightness that outshines all other forces i know

You are unforgetable

But i want to be close to it all

That immense, fearfull brightness

I want to be close to it all and know it all

All your dirt, all your shit, all your insecurity, all you past lies, all the abuse, all the pain

Let me part of it

Or cast me out

Yeah im in love. Think she is too. And i tremble and fear that awesome power that creates and destroys.